New Yorker caption contest for the week of 11-2-00
what if adrenaline caused you to fall asleep

roller coasters would be pretty boring

You can't believe that you've let your friends talk you into going on a blind date! How embarrassing! How uncomfortable!

Still though, it has been awhile since you've been on a date and it could turn out to be a lot of fun.

It's almost time to pick her up. Better give her a quick call to tell her that you are on your way.

You pick up the phone and dial the number that your friends gave you.

"Hello?", a female voice answers.

Choose:
Hi sexy, are you ready to have me rock your world?
Breath heavily into the phone.<---------------------------------------
Ummmm, hi. Uhhhh... hello?
Hi Sara.

In the world of fursuiting, I'm something of a big fish in a little pond. There are probably not more than a hundred people in the world who seriously make fursuits. (And by "seriously" I mean have made more than one, will continue to make more regularly, and have some real skill at doing so.) There are hundreds and hundreds of dabblers, but given then many thousands of furries out there, the number of fursuit makers really is quite small. And I'm creeping steadily up towards the top. I'll never upset Lance Ikegawa's place, he works too differently for me to even try, but someday I might be on par with LatinVixen or Scribblefox. I think I've finally hit near parity with most others out there.

I like that feeling. As awful of me as it is, I like it when I look at people's fursuiting work and I know I could do a million times better.

Thus, I turn to you wonderful folks. Can anybody get the WalMart wolf fur in quantity? I definitely want the gray, and would like a few yards of the brown as well. (The gray is tan base, light gray coat, black tips/guard hairs, the brown is orange-brown base, brown coat, dark chocolate tips/guard hairs. They both look like WOLF and cannot be mistaken for anything else, really.) I can pay for the fur, plus shipping, plus some for your time, gas money in driving to get it, etc. Alternately, I have Montery Mills long pile fox fur (the nice, three inch stuff you can buy from CRs Crafts,) in rust, black, or white that I could trade for it.

I'd like, if possible, 6 yards of the gray wolf and three of the brown.

Is there anybody that can hook me up?

You are 20 years old, male, single. Though you have aspirations of being a hipster, you can't seem to get it right at anything more than the most superficial level. You know that you have some problems with how your life is going, but they aren't serious enough for you to actually make any big sacrifices to solve them. As a result, your lifestyle as become gradually less healthy over the last 3 or 4 years, punctuated by brief periods of substance abuse. Still, nothing too terrible, nothing that would shock your friends or family. When you are at home during the day, you often prefer to keep the blinds drawn. One day you hope to clean up your life altogether, but don't know how. Perhaps by taking a "minimalist" approach to everything, getting rid of everything but the barest essentials.

I'm not a teacher but I work for a wachovia call center and I had this lady call me up and ask "why is there only 9 dollars in my savings account" so I opened the account and saw that she had 19 dollars and she took out a counter withdrawl of 10 dollars so I explained that to her and she said "thats not right that should leave me wi

I can't wait until everybody is doing the Borat voice

wawaweeee it is very nice

You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
Actually, "Emily's Reasons Why Not" did have its funny moments. The problem is twofold. The show tweaks and contorts itself so hard to get those laughs that the whole thing feels forced and unmanageable for two consecutive episodes, much less a season. And secondly, the premise was unlikely to hold up for any length of time.

Rep. Foley (R-FL): I think i hit a rabbit with my car this morning
Teen: carp
Teen: *crap
Rep. Foley (R-FL): No not a carp
Rep. Foley (R-FL): carp is fish
Teen: i meant crap
Rep. Foley (R-FL): And do you have any idea how hard it would be to hit a fish
Teen: i said crap
Rep. Foley (R-FL): fish are fast