I want to expand my use of unique and funny metaphors and hyperboles and I figured this is the crowd to ask.

For those of your mental giants that need to run to wikipedia and look those two terms up.....I would love to hear some new, funny and relevant things to use in conversation. Whether its the boardroom or at the poker table, hearing a funny phrase to express ones self is something I like to do.

For example to get it started:


once at a local show this girl was crowd surfing and she fell down right in front of me, it wasn't my fault she started falling down like 3 people to my right and back a bit, it wasn't really a fall either just kind of slow downhill descent over some people but she did end up totally on the floor. Anyways i grabbed her hand/wrist and pulled her back up, I was kind of forceful doing that and every once in a while I think back to that day and wonder if I hurt her hand/wrist at all. She didn't say anything at the time so... It was pretty packed and someone couldv'e tripped over her and caused a bill pile up on top of her so I figured I better try to pick her up as fast as possible.

sooo