Mr. Darsie's Time Machine
Super Za Explosion
[Titor Records; 2006]
Rating: 0.2

In my 22 years here on Earth (I don't count the postnatal years where my cognitive dissonance clouded my judgement ((ie: ability to dress myself (((ie: in thrift store shirts that advertise a YMCA dinner party in Des Moines 4 years before my birth)))) I had never seen a battery on the subway tracks that wasn't a Duracell. 22 years of rotations, passes through steaming tunnels snaking through this godawful city. Mr. Darsie was hunched over his Erector Set. Za pounding. Complete silence. The mustachioed fat man in his underwear sliding, gliding through the space in between tables. One gleaming, gaping maw after another.

Opening the album with "Old Time Rock and Roll" must have been the worst decision since Tomás Estrada Palma offered his dirty pesos to the sky. The dark matter in my soul was swimming into a dimension where a grown man can't grow a tail in front of a silent audience. Waiting. Watching. The emaciated around me held their breath in a communion. One cannot fathom the blast of energy that awaited them that perfect night. The human part of me wept in awe.

This is when the gods bowed down. For further testament, Erik Estrada and I both suffered debilitating bocce ball injuries in the same full moon cycle, while listening to "The Old Tyme Paz Blues", in different parts of Brooklyn. From this day forward, one can never treatise Prospect Park without mentioning the vampirric, stoic motions of that track's namesake. Buying and selling emotion.

Valhalla fell that night, that beautiful, drastic, beautastic night. But here's the reality. Do I want to buy in to the dogma of this dogZA? You have to ask your own inner Christ: How many times can you play the same fucken chugga-chugga riff on an album? If you ask this guy; 10000000000 times.

Embarrassing.
Fuck off.

2 piss-poor riffs out of 10.

In 1989, a man, Kenneth Lamar Noid, who thought the ads were a personal attack on him, held two employees of an Atlanta, Georgia Domino's restaurant hostage for over five hours. After forcing them to make him a pizza, and making demands for $100,000, getaway transportation, and a copy of The Widow's Son, Noid surrendered to the police.

Noid was charged with kidnapping, aggravated assault, extortion and possession of a firearm during a crime. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity. Contrary to popular belief, this incident did not cause Domino's to pull the "Noid" campaign off the air; rather, Will Vinton Studios asked for a larger amount of money for continued use of the Noid character, and Domino's chose not to renew their contract.

Three steps to hold up a ZA joint
1) The Widow's Son is a shitty book no one reads scifi of course you'll be found insane.
2)...
3)Profit

What would happen if famous historical figures used the internet instant messaging services of today? I think it would go... something like this!

black people type like this and white people t


But seriously the avian bird flu (RU 486) is a big deal and we all need to WHAT HAPPENED TO SARS i mean really what's the deal with that. Hey, Remember the SARS?

face skin,
it's face skin i just cracked the case

SARS is like the Ricki Lake of diseases. It was pretty funny in that John Waters movie but then it got old quick and then they find its bloated corpse washed up in the creek just northwest of Rock Honda in Fontana and everyone has to sit through these reruns

ALZHEIMERS

you had me at hello
MALAISE

Where are YOU going to be when that 70s show ends
ALSHE

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like a job at Checkworks.com. I have been following Checkworks.com's progress VERY intently over the past TWO MONTHS. I have heard the Checkworks.com radio advertising spots on KLAC Am radio between news and sports and VIC THE BIRCK JACOBS and other ads such as Remax/Mr Darsie. I am intensely FAMILIAR with Checkworks.com and Dr. Laura the official spokes female. In addition I am THROUGHLY AFFILIATED with the Ribbit Rascals.

I am available to RELOCATE to the Baldwin Park facilities of Checkworks.com and would specifically like to work int he division in charge of ribbit rascals. Is this particular department also located in Baldwin Park?? I am currently in New York City, NY, USA but am WILLING to leave my current position.

Please let me know as soon AS possible. I also have a colleague who would be interested in a position at checkworks.com as long as HE is not affiliate dwith the ribbit rascals in any way.

Regards,

Tom Scroggins
NY, NY, US of A

The second Scatman John album, Everybody Jam!, was released in 1996. While nowhere as successful on an international level as his debut, the album and accompanying single took off in Japan, the country in which he would see success on a larger scale than anywhere else in the world. He was so popular there that Japanese toy stores sold dolls of his likeness and he appeared on phone cards and Coca Cola cans. The Japanese version of Everybody Jam! included a total of five bonus tracks, including the songs "Su Su Su Super キ・レ・イ" and "Pripri Scat", which were commissioned by Japanese companies for commercials for cosmetics and pudding respectively.

6 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT TWO TWIN GIRLS, SUSIE AND JESSICA MARTIN WHO GO TO A DUDE RANCH WHERE THEIR MOTHER STAYED AS A KID WITH NATTY WHO IS VERY SWEET! THEY FIND THEIR MOTHERS SECRETS HALF OF AN OWL AND BEAR AND READ HER DIARY. NATTY`S SON BART WANTS TO MAKE THE RANCH INTO A THEME PARK CALLED GIFOOLEY LAND. WHEN THEY GO LOOKING FOR GOLD THEY FIND THE OTHER HALF OF THE BEAR AND THE OWL.THEY SAVED THE RANCH FROM BART GIFOOLY AND THEY FOUND THE HORSE LIGHTNING THEIR MOMS HORSE. HAEV YUO ACTUALLY TRIED WTACHING IT BECUASE ITS IMPOSSABAL TO SIT THROUGH UNLESS YUOVE GOT TERRIBAL BRAIN DAMAGE. SOUNDTRACK FEATUREING "THIS IS LOVE" BY WHITESNAKE

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
The CIA obtained a court injunction against this movie's release stating the screenwriter, a former CIA employee, violated his contract which states that he cannot write about the CIA without the agency's approval. First amendment activists opposed this ruling, "raising the question of whether a citizen can sign away his First Amendment rights." After prolonged litigation, the CIA succeeded in having 168 pages of the script deleted. The Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran put a price on the head of the producer for casting the two leads which are allegedly critical of the Islam religion.


2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
BRILLIANT! This movie is awesome, I LOVE IT! Mary-Kate and Ashley are acting with real talent and the movie is SO exciting! It's really cool! It's absolutely one of my favorite movies by MKA, but I love every movie they've starred in except for "Secretary", so I guess that makes no sence;) But it IS really good! Mary-Kate and Ashley also star in one of the songs in the movie when they're having a camp fire! :) Really, REALLY good!
If you're a fan of Mary-Kate and Ashley you CAN'T miss it!

As recently as March 2005, there has been a viral list originating from a not for profit organization based in Lancaster, Pennsylvania that references no less than 30 political "idealists" (as I would call them) and their views on the infamous Campbellton project. This literature has been very prominent as of late in many underground, low run publications such as the Arby's Weekly Reader or the playbook from TITOR! The Musical.

Some common myths about the Campbellton Organization:

MYTH: Manute Bol's Professional Bowling for the TurboGrafx 16 was extensively anti-semetic.
TRUTH: Primitive digital compression technology/poor sales.

MYTH: PepsiCo halted the manufacturing of Crystal Pepsi in 1993.
TRUTH: MYTH

MYTH: Capri pants are a good idea
TRUTH: You don't look fat honey, I swear.

MYTH: Causing cancer means never having to say you're sorry
TRUTH: it's spelled murda and it's not a picture it's a children's rap cassette about pogs

Mad Libs/Blogs/Mad Money/Pork Futures/Back to the Pork 2/Hoverboards:

Three reasons for the return of __(noun)__

a) __(adjective)__ish seats on the N line should up the ante for __(political figure)__ Giuliani.

2) Small Wonder reruns

b)__(noun)__ and __(gender)__'s __(blanks)__ are __(adnoun)__. I feel that __(popular rapper)__ needs more flavor and th

Performance art.

I need venture capital. I need a sponsor. Lays. REmax. Checkworks.com. I'm going to walk around Alphabet City with an enormous digital clock strapped to me. Real sandwich board.

17 minutes ahead.

Development and commercial production of electric lighting!
Development and commercial production of gasoline-powered automobile by Karl Benz, Gottlieb Daimler and Maybach!
First commercial production and sales of phonographs and phonograph recordings!
First steel tird construction "sky-scrapers"!
Construction begins on the Panama Canal by the French. This is the first attempt to build the Canal!

Heinrich Hertz discovers the photoelectric effect!
Michelson-Morley experiment, showing that the speed of light is invariant!
James-Lange theory of emotion!

First Boer War!
The New Imperialism!

Mark Twain publishes The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!
Feodor Dostoevsky publishes The Brothers Karamazov!
Robert Louis Stevenson publishes Treasure Island!
Paul Fusco operated the Alf puppet, supplied Alf's voice and co-produced the series with Tom Patchett!
First edition of Oxford English Dictionary published!
Arthur Conan Doyle publishes his first Sherlock Holmes tale!

The McDonald's massacre, sometimes called the McMurder, was an incident of mass murder at a McDonald's restaurant in the San Ysidro section of San Diego, California, on July 18, 1984.
The massacre was carried out by James Oliver Huberty, a 41-year-old former welder from Canton, Ohio. In January 1984, Huberty had moved to San Ysidro with his wife and children, where he worked as a security guard until his dismissal one week prior to the murders. His apartment was located near the site of the shooting spree.
Before he left for McDonald's, his wife Etna asked him where he was going; Huberty responded "going to hunt humans." Earlier that same day he and his family visited another McDonald's restaurant for lunch, before going to the zoo. While walking around with his wife and two daughters he made the comment to his wife, "society had its chance."

Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii (cute)). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)