Mr. Darsie's Time Machine

ideas

2008-02-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

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Created: Monday, February 7, 2005 6:46 PM
Modified: Thursday, April 21, 2005 9:03 PM

man and wishes grow old on deserted island
man claims to have photo of god
government program pays cab ride if you have high blood alcohol level
"my boyfriend's an ass because he always drops his phone" :drops phone:

SEINFELD

SCENE: George, Jerry and Elaine in the Diner

George: So the guy says to me, I'll see you in the morning.
Jerry (shocked): I'll see you in the morning???
Elaine: In the morning??
George: I will see you in the morning.

[Kramer bursts through door]

welp,

2008-01-16T23:49:00.000-05:00

Now, now i know i'm not crazy. that fucking mouse. The mouse is back again. And i got him here. mother f

he's in the fucking radiator. that prick and he's lay he's eating a fucking dorito. and i can't get him./ and he's looking at me. While he eats this fucking dorito. and he's behind the fuc

I'm going to k
this is war. now this is war. now watch what happnens

if you say "beer can" with an english accent it sounds like you are saying "bacon" with a jamaican accent

2007-11-13T22:42:00.000-05:00

I want to expand my use of unique and funny metaphors and hyperboles and I figured this is the crowd to ask.

For those of your mental giants that need to run to wikipedia and look those two terms up.....I would love to hear some new, funny and relevant things to use in conversation. Whether its the boardroom or at the poker table, hearing a funny phrase to express ones self is something I like to do.

For example to get it started:

once at a local show this girl was crowd surfing and she fell down right in front of me, it wasn't my fault she started falling down like 3 people to my right and back a bit, it wasn't really a fall either just kind of slow downhill descent over some people but she did end up totally on the floor. Anyways i grabbed her hand/wrist and pulled her back up, I was kind of forceful doing that and every once in a while I think back to that day and wonder if I hurt her hand/wrist at all. She didn't say anything at the time so... It was pretty packed and someone couldv'e tripped over her and caused a bill pile up on top of her so I figured I better try to pick her up as fast as possible.

sooo

remember brendles

2007-10-29T00:31:00.000-04:00

So anyway, I ended up just eating at Ruby Tuesday in the mall because I was short on time and needed to get lunch over with and get back. I really like Ruby Tuesday, it's a good vegan option when you're traveling. I just thought I was going to be able to find something else more local, but I couldn't. So in a way, I guess Ruby Tuesday came to the rescue and helped me eat a filling vegan lunch when I couldn't find any other options.

I started out by making a nice salad from their incredible Salad Bar. I think that they probably have the nicest and most diverse Salad Bar that I am aware of in the chain restaurant industry. It's less than $3 to add it to your meal too, and it's unlimited trips. Plus, they have so many ingredients. I just grabbed a little bit of everything and piled it up into a nice salad. One thing I did do, that I've never done before, was put a few Jalapenos on my salad. I like Jalapenos, but I just had never added them to a salad. It was really good. I'll add those little suckers every time now when I make a salad, if they're available.

I wasn't sure about their salad dressing choices. Even the Light Balsamic Vinegar dressing looked like it might be "creamy", and made me wonder if it might have dairy in it. So I just opted for the oil & vinegar that were sitting there at the end of the salad bar in their separate bottles. You can't go wrong there. My salad was delicious, and I really could have just made a meal out of the Salad Bar. In fact, I probably should have done that since I feel like I have eaten like a PIG this week. But I decided that I might as well enjoy their veggie burger too while I was there. It's the best vegan veggie burger that I know of in the whole chain restaurant industry, and it will DEFINITELY fill you up.

Once again, I asked the server before ordering if that particular restaurant was serving the Veggie Land Burger, because there are supposedly a few Ruby Tuesday locations that serve a different brand of veggie burger that is NOT vegan. She informed me that it was indeed the Veggie Land Burger and said that someone else had asked her about that last week. I guess there must have been another vegan through there, YIPEE! And yes, I got the french fries with it. Not healthy, I know. But hey, I'm pretending like I'm on vacation.

I, of course, also asked her to leave off the mayo and the cheese to make it vegan and then also said that I didn't want them to butter the bun when they grilled it. She looked worried and said she would see what they could do. This was the same look I got at the location at home when I mentioned no butter on the bun. Come to find out, they butter and grill the buns in advance, so there's no way to remove the butter from those buns. So, I just told her that I didn't need my bun grilled, and asked that they just give me a plain bun straight out of the plastic bag, which they did. So I was happy. I have found butter on the buns to be one of those sneaky things that you really have to watch out for when trying to eat out as a vegan. I got burned with it once, a long time ago on a Portobello Mushroom sandwich, and I have been on guard for it ever since. I guess some servers, who really don't understand what veganism is, must think that I am crazy being so worried about butter on the buns, I even had one tell me one time that "they don't use very much and you really can't taste it." But oh well, I eventually get my point across th

I had walked down to Subway to get a sub, so everything was going fine until he asked me what kind of bread I wanted. I said I wanted just normal whit

2007-09-27T00:22:00.000-04:00

Question why is it that every time I walking down the street
Somebody wants to stop me
Just to give me a flier.
Come on man !!
Funk dat !!
Get out of my way !!

Question why is that everytime I walk into the bank

Resolved Question

Writing a letter to my girlfriend, want ideas of what to include?

Woodsy
I want ideas on what i can put in my girlfriends letter. Its her birthday and i just want to put a long special letter in her card. I have wrote loads and ive also done a poem. What else could i do? Help from the ladies plz lol.

8 months ago - 7 answers - Report It

Best Answer - Chosen By Voters
ISTHATADOG
You're kidding me, right? You're concerned about your relationship because she won't offer you literary critiques of your writing? You really need to get some perspective or you're going to live out your life being very sad and lonely. But look on the bright side, your misery will be sure to improve your writing.

3 Votes 100%

Resolved Question

Football?????

stewie's wife
wat r da rules in football and wat do dey do? i dont understand it? wat r da positons and stuff? just tell all about football

3 months ago - 6 answers - Report It

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
ISTHATADOG
You can not learn football by
- just be a player
- watch TV or read ESPN anything
- read one or two books

To truly understand it and I am sorry to say it this bluntly, you need to play it or have played it on a a respectable level and love every aspect of Football.

To understand Football, you need to know more than just what a player knows, assignments and rules. You need to understand the big picture. You need to be a coach. You can not be a coach and understand the big picture without knowing how it is on the field, without having been a player.

So yeah.
First off, everything on TV or in its vicinity is dumbified for the audience. The football rulebook doesn't require you to fill "a box", or play a 3-4 or have a QB or a HB or a TE. A Toss play isn't "THE" Toss. I can draw up about two hundred plays that would be called "THE toss play" on TV.
I've vented about this many times before, but it's always "the" 3-4 or "the" sweep. If I change just one player's assignment in football the play becomes so absurdly different that you can really only can say that there are three down linemen. Everything else is up to the coach.
I can draw up a play that looks like a kick-off formation and do the craziest motion jamboree and it would still be a legal play. Also, ESPN would explode.
And I sure as hell dont know everything there is to know, since every offense has a rather unique attack philosophy and so does every defense.

Just looking at the ESPN Football 101 gives you a good idea how simple things work in the mind of an analyst. It's not only that they don't use the correct definition of "the box", or that the notion that any given 7-man front is a gap control type is blatantly wrong, or that you can or ever should block everyone 1on1 to match up 7on7.

Bottomline, if you want to know about Football, check places where coaches discuss. High school level is best. Though if you want to read up on one specific style of attack, I recommend to get the DC Wing-T from dumcoach.com, as it's easily the most documented playbook/manual out there.
If you read it you most likely are still not ready to successfully coach or understand the game. But you at least know more about the complexity involved in a 8-10 year old YOUTH offense.

Check other sources. Just know that most playbooks on the internet are a) shit or b) in case of college/pro/big high school playbooks they wont tell you much since you lack the additional information required to understand the big picture.

If you have specific questions, as always, I will see if I can find an answer.

One example on how different you can run "the" 3-4.
Our teams runs a 3-4 and so does an opponent. And on the surface we only treat the SS differently. We run a cover-1 man/zone mix with SS manned up on TE. They run a Cover 2/3 Full Zone in case over Cover-3 this results in the LB covering the flats.
I have to attack these defenses completely different. Not even the concept is related offense wise.
Yet, ESPN will say "HURRR DATS THE 3-4"

Asker's Rating: *

what did you guys think of the part where the guy breaks the wine glass

2007-07-24T00:37:00.000-04:00

Ah, fanfic. Most of my earliest writings were what would now be called fanfic. Sherlock Holmes, Elfquest, Pern, Trek, various comic book heroes. Truly, I wish the net had been around fifteen years ago, when I had the time to watch several hours of TV a day, and the energy to write notebooks full of fanfic

I have heard many denigrating remarks made about fanfic, the most common being "A REAL author wouldn't have to steal somebody else's character/world..." What many detractors don't really understand is that fanfic has an entirely different purpose than original fiction.

Fanfic arises out of an emotional need. People get very attached to a character or a world and they want MORE than they are getting. Most of them would rather read fanfic than write it, but the fanfic environment is based on a sort of mutually cooperative `I'll write some for you if you'll write some for me'. Why is fanfic necessary? Sometimes the author is dead and there is no more to be had from that quarter (example: Sherlock Holmes). Sometimes people want a story that is emotionally more intense than the original media can support (lots of slash Trek stuff, for example). Or they get lost in a lovely "what if" fantasy and want to share it with others. Or somet

Everyone seems to have their own unique tastes in fanfic, though the differences between them may seem almost undetectable to the outside observer. Many new terms have grown up to describe these tastes (h/c, slash, shipper) so that one can easily locate stories to suit one's own preferences.

Fanfic is written for TV shows, books, comic books, movies and many other media. I've searched around and found many links to fanfic of various sorts. I do not vouch for the quality of any of the stories here, as I haven't read them all (nor do I expect to) but I will try to warn you if any of them are of the risque variety :) If I miss any please let me know in the comments section.

Reba: The Beatles were one of the first bands to introduce satire and humour into rock and roll for instance, alot of funny but werid stuff can be found on none other but "The White" album. A good if not great example would be the song Happiness is a Warm Gun. When peapel heard it for the first time they thought "This is a good guitar riff" (the main part of a ROCK song) but when they get to the chorus they barf on themselves because of lines such as "I feel my finger on the trigger" and "Its good to have a gun." They might even have to barf into their hands, and then put the barf in a trash can. Its so gross but that's exactly what Jon Lennon wanted. It was satire because Jon did not like guns at all, He was laughing in the face of all the smart men who got mad and didnt even know it was a joke. A similar thing to this would be if you said "women are dumb" but it was a joke. A lot of girls would get mad if you said that, but Jon Lennon would say that kind of crap as a joke and walk it off. According to an interview in 1968 Paul Mccartney smokes weed. Then when Sgt Pepper came out peaple were often quoted as saying " I guess he did smoke weed after all. This album is KooL". The beatles decided to stop joking around after that except for Ringo. Now he is old and gay and Jon Lennon died. George Harrison is also dead. Paul Mccartney married a girl with a peg leg

a room in slow motion going 100 miles/hr with girls
and be laid back
i dont want to "do it"
on a bed
Jacob,isaac, and judas are all sitting down on a comfortable sofa with crincits and a bottle of water one of them thinks they are not the bigger fucker they know hes not bad'and it is an unfortable scenario
dat i aint got bo shoes On im holdin up a big stack and dem
hundreds in a rubba b
she's a good girl and the only reason she said those words were to satisfy herself because she loves you she wants us to be together forever that's good that'means she loves you why would that make you feel bad because without her iVFFFFFFFFFFFFFshe,s just a kid a babby

she wore a raspberry beret

2007-06-25T00:07:00.000-04:00

ffffffffffffffffffffffff

just get jodie sweetin circa 1992 right at your shoulder, with the knob of your shoulder as her butt, right, so that her torso is spread onto your sho

2007-06-24T00:19:00.001-04:00

saturday night stenography

Were 4 new york im for new york
weekend up date with amy peohler and seth eyer
im steh myeyes aim amy plare i

as a war scarr luck was chosen after geing the first one in the room yelling not it
all time record high of three dollards firfteen.

so it loooks like the jest deal have to wait until next summer jorge
laugher
which explains why four trilion dollards in debt

the new york police dept is palt

murder

well summers just around the corner which means this years bigs movies are on the way here with her take on the films is my aunt linda
hi aunt linda wilcome back
hello amy hello seth
you seem like goo mood
spring
ive heard there are a lot of grage movies coming ot

yyou whatat

gord
yes amy the infamous epic comidc duo have o no u didnt and a di jong
di jon what sdoes that mean its chinee for o brother
thx ant inda ant linda everyboyd

for the second consecutive year miani coacaine loud music
a new bird called the hummbingburd discovered in a claud forest still nothing on bin laden

cround a[p[plauyuse

hundresed of girls stood in line on mondy a in manahttan for thh

frfighters in a laska were called in to gelephants

abc itthis week announced cvacement chaacter not 18900 matdress
DFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCKeep ipe eep ipe i didnt win a single state balame it on my runtimg mate

Not all furries are fursuiters. I'd have to say that only two of my furry friends are actually fursuiters. Since I'm a furry and spend much of my time enveloped in furry subculture (when I'm not posting on random forums), I'd like to think this would speak volumes. Although it probably won't, considering how much your average goon loves to jump on the furry hate bandwagon.

Don't get me wrong, the overly-defensive furries amuse me, too. And this particular musical is hilarious, even though it makes me ashamed of my country for producing it. I don't think it does a good job of showing what the fandom really is, but since when did a musical ever do that?3

I am 24 years old and have never even kissed a girl. I still live with my parents. I did two years of college but quit going even though I had a 4.0 GPA. There is something wrong with me where I purposely try to screw things up for myself. I make appointments and then don't go. I fill out my tax forms every year but do not mail them. I don't even cash my paycheck sometimes. I don't know why I do this but I cannot stop even though it is ruining my life. I have no friends and rarely leave the house. I do not know how to have a proper conversation and when meeting new people I end up feeling awkward and trying to leave. I cannot talk to anyone about myself ever. I tried seeing a psychologist several years ago but even though I knew exactly what I wanted to say to him I couldn't ever get anything out and eventually I just quit going. I have several medical problems, including what is probably an early sign of cancer but I know that I would be unable to talk to a doctor about anything and therefore have not seen one. For the last three years I have been planning to kill myself on my 25th birthday, which is about three weeks away now. I got a firearms license and a shotgun a year ago and am still planning on going through with it.

Also, I'd like to point out that not all furries are gay, and there are a number of women in the fandom. Admitedly, most furries seem to be overweight gay men, but, honestly, the vast majority of any Internet subculture will be overweight and male.

I am one of the furries who identifies with a certain type of animal, and I like to pretend the vast majority of furs are like me. I'm not otherkin; I don't believe I am a fox trapped in the body of a human. And I'm not a fursuiter, because that's just stupid. I also don't have sex with other furries! Because most of the furries I know are good friends and the ones who hit on me are creepy.

(As a side note, one of my furry friends, "Sharky", has a fursona that is a shark... but when he visits furry cons, he cosplays as a hamster. Yeah. He confuses me.)

Please carry on with your general furry bashing. It's entertaining, really.

\\I'm pretty sure the joke is that the knight gets shot with a rocket

2007-05-30T00:23:00.001-04:00

What

what is it to th
'

OLW OLW OLW OLW
this people, is the sound of a german shepard trying to squeeze out 36 babies at once
yes, 36

But really we can all put on the dog and pony show and say that we'vJESUS can u imagine? that cat, going nuts, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CRAZY. a crazy tripping cat. he is going nuts over some pudding, which he LOVES let me remind you.

To illustrate what I'm getting at here one night my roomates dumpstered like 20 sealed packages of spahgetti from trader joes. This was quite the find for them because pasta is dehydrated and won't spoil so they could use this pasta to run their FNB operation for at least a few weeks. Every meal they made for the homeless that week included this spaghetti, until we noticed thousands of tiny bugs which were hatching inside the sealed packages which was no doubt the reason it was in the dumpster in the first place.

This particle physics-related article is a stub. You can help Mr Darsie's Time Machine by expanding it. [1]

locked out of the bratz fan forum again i see

2007-04-25T16:56:00.000-04:00

Here's my take on MC Lyte's revolutionary magnum opus Bad as I Wanna B.

The thing is, believe it or not, this is an album which must not only be taken _musically_ as a whole, but as one big chunk which includes, of all things, the cover and mid-section art. The world shown in the middle, a surreal chunk of water and colored rock, is where this album takes you. The green on the front and back is a veil, of sorts, through which one enters and exits this world.

You pass through this veil, and when you first enter, all you can sense are the quiet chirpings and river babblings of nature. But you can also feel an impending onslaught, one that you cannot quite describe ... and then it is there. You are being flooded with powers that you cannot begin to understand. What you can sense, however, is that it is a purifying force, and as with all purification the process is painful. You can feel all of the outside worldliness being violently sucked out of you, and as this happens you want to scream, but you only find it registered in your mind. When the smoke clears, however, you do not wish to rest - you feel overwhelmed to take a journey. To what, you do not know, but you must press onwards and upwards the path that has been presented you. You begin to march. Your mind is flooded with abstract thoughts and images, but they do seem to have a common theme within them, about the perils that people have created for themselves by denying the powerful life force which is all around them. You keep marching. The path is always rugged and twisty, but you feel compelled to go on.

In time, though, you hit a clearing, and through it you see a beautiful oasis, more radiant and breathtakingly beautiful than anything you had ever before comprehended. The atmosphere of the place is simultaneously uplifting and mournful, as though a great sacrifice has been made that could ultimately help the others of the universe, although they might not recognize it. The forces within you and without you allow you to stay and take it all in...

....but only for so long. This gorgeous place begins to flicker and glow, becoming more overwhelmingly colorful and astoundingly beautiful with each passing second, and as it reaches the threshold of what you can comprehend before you would die of pleasure, it disappears. Just like that. And you are left to continue on your journey, just as before. The voices come back to your mind, giving you a lesson that you still do not fully understand, and yet which you can still comprehend. You feel these words in your heart, though your brain is totally befuddled, and they feed and grow in you with each passing second.

You keep going until you can tell that you are almost at the top, and the forces urge you on. At last you make it to the top, and with triumph you gaze upon a plateau of sheer surreal beauty. The forces applaud your effort in one voice with great aplomb, and you are allowed to sit and take it in.

After resting, you begin to press onwards to the center of this plateau. The journey is easier now, as the land is mostly flat, and you can move fairly briskly. The forces begin to now give you images of man's relationship to nature, and you take them in quickly, without much thought. As you approach the center, though, the forces become stronger - you can tell that you are nearing a holy place of sorts. As you come closer to this place, you can begin to feel the power, and it grows with each passing second. You know not exactly where in it to go, and yet the forces practically carry you to it.

And then you see it and feel it, the point of your journey. You look up, and you can see everything, everyone, everyplace, and everytime. You are absolutely overcome and overpowered with an overwhelming sense of awe and a complete oneness with every last thing in existance. The majesty is totally beyond anything which you had ever before comprehended, and you are simply speechless.

As you stand in the place, however, the force fades away, leaving you weak-kneed and in need of rest from the experience. Eventually, you get up the strength to get moving again in the same direction as before, and once more your journey is brisk. More thoughts pass through you, but they seem less powerful after what you have experienced. Eventually, you come to the other side of the plateau, the peaceful thoughts fade away, and you are left to rest.

You now feel compelled to go down the cliff in order to leave this place. You try to keep a slow, controlled pace, but the steepness forces you to have to move at a much faster rate than before. Thoughts continue to pass through you, but now they don't mean as much and don't resonate with you deep down, since all of your concentration is spent in getting down this cliff without hurting yourself. Ocasionally the path is less steep, but no sooner does it get easy then it gets fast again.

Eventually, you lose your footing, and you start to slide down. Thoughts are still going through you, but now you can make no sense of them whatsoever - you're so terrified of your painful and increasingly accelerating descent that you can only pick out bits and pieces of what is going on. The thoughts finally leave all together, but you keep sliding. And then, without warning, you approach the 'exit veil'. As when you entered this place, you want to scream - your necessary worldliness is flying back into you, and after what you experienced on the plateau, that is the last thing you want. The onslaught of forces are as powerful as before, though different in nature, since they are _returning_ as opposed to _taking_ your worldliness. You continue to slide, and you gradually pass through the veil and the reality of this strange world begins to fade.

you'll understand when you're older

2007-04-12T00:14:00.000-04:00

...
From a 1995
Episode Of The FOX
Television Sitcom
Living Single

With Guest Star Grant Hill

KYLE mentions
PULLING OUT The
Perfect (Jenga) Piece

And Putting It The Perfect PLACE

Like Pulling
Something OUT OF
THE CLOSET

Obie says MAX can pull
the paper doilies out from
under the cookies in a
Pepperidge Farms bag

PEPPERidge
Farms begins
PEPPER...
Like Football's Julius
PEPPERS

The Collapse Of The Jenga Pile
Could Evoke Thoughts
Of The World Trade Center
Twin Towers Collaps
Six Years Later

KYLE's YELLOW Shirt Is
Like Rolling Down The
Highway
In A Yellow Car During The
Mid 1990s
Sunny, Carefree
and Bright

Earlier In The
Episode...
Queen Latifah & NBA Star Grant
Hill
Locked in Unbelievable Passion

YUCK!
Football Bat Anyone?
How About
A $3 Bill?

John Henton's OBIE
(out of OVERton?!?)
Obi-Wan "Ben"
Kenobi

Like Obi-Wan "Ben"
Kenobi of Star Wars fame

Obi-Wan "Ben"
Kenobi has
KEN In Spelling
Animated "South Park"
Always Killing KENny

christ android

2007-01-24T13:54:00.000-05:00

At 8:45 p.m. on January 4th, President Johnson called Albert Jackson, Vice President of the Dallas Times Herald. LBJ has received a letter from a reporter for the paper, Margaret Meyer, in which she asks questions about the President's personal business interests. You'll read references to Jesse Kellum, the general manager of the Texas Broadcasting Company, which represented some of Johnson's business holdings:

Johnson: provenzano, chillone, all these fuckin people that lost their jobs and got fired as a direct result of my tellin em shit. it all had to do with time travel it all had to do with leNO it works the same way jackson would you shut up

it works the same god damn way as my journal i'm tryin to tell ya. if you don't say anything they can't go back before that point. this is why they're intentionally using mind control devices like OH NO they own hollywood so stalin recognized they owned hollywood back in the second world war, if i could control hollywood i would never have to use a weapon. shit i could take over the world he knew it too we shouldn't be talking about stalin over the phone

look, na no na na no NO na NOOOOO WILL YOU SHUT UP

nOOOO

every fuckin time thats why

super high tech beings created this whole fuckin mess but thats not whats outside the cycle youve got an infinite cycle no you have an infinite cycle two different ways with each other no i dont want to talk about it

the 12th planet sooner or later has to be engineered over here. its hollow it has to be engineered over towards the earth and then the fake planet part you know melts off and theres a big cubic core inside and the christ android has to get activated

then the cube has to drop down on the earth its very complicated no itNO there is no rigid schedule for no because they're so many infinite dimensions in the world

look NO my family knows these fuckin secrets and only ehnNOOO

JACKSON I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT

I ate too much turkey todayLIVEJOURNAL 101

2007-01-10T18:24:00.001-05:00

Why do people watch Cold Case, today's society is demanding more episodes based on the music of Chicago, I swear that lead singer (beardless, no less) is wearing a Bauhaus shirt in the You're The Inspiration video Answer me this gumshoes why do the people disappear? I'm assuming it's a multiverse effect, ie: someone traveling back in time to the future and altering a tiny aspect of history, ie: replacing the letter "p" with an arbitrary symbol, or a combination of lines and dots, ie: "ie". So this ieerson in no certain terms ceases to exist in our current universe because the ramifications of this relatively small change in history creates a cascading series of events that change the future exieonentially. We've all seen Homer do it and the raining donuts and the 1.21 gigawatts and the tongMAN IT'S HOT IN HERE nothing says a hard day's office work like sweaty pants

Currently listening to:
Mood: Ever see The Battleship Potemkin where that baby stroller is rolling down that set of stairs man I should have never chosen to write that film theory thesis on Eisenstein man was he a piece of work metric montage, highly unlikely more like asymmetric so and so. Anyways I always wanted to make a period piece comprised of old people falling down on praxinoscope film and call it Straight Trippin but

i dont mean to brag, but i just won a free ringtone

2006-12-10T23:09:00.000-05:00

The DaVinci Code is a book which no one wants decoded. If we start looking intelligently at what one of the greatest mind in the world was thinking, we may begin to realize that he was not thinking too much. He was the illegitimate child of a noble man. Therefore, he could not take the last name of his father. Instead he took the last name of his home, Vinci. Leonardo was known simply as Leonardo of Vinci. Thus Leonardo was able to do what he did best: explore Vinci and thinking with his mind. The natural world captivated young Leonardo's imagination as he explored the fascinating creations of the world. He had his head in the clouds 100% of the time.

Funnily enough, the earth does rotate around the sun, not the other way around. Copernicus was ridiculed and made into a public embarrassment for his revolutionary theory. Despite this, we all now understand intuitively that the earth rotates on its axis at a perfect angle so as to create a sense of balance and unity. Spring and Winter are mere reflections of each other, just on opposite sides of the polar spectrum. Sadly, if we begin to look at our own reflections too hard, we may fall into the everlasting pond and drown ourselves.

Hot dogs arMY GOOD THIS WAY

2006-11-29T23:30:00.000-05:00

I've been watching this a lot lately. Reminds me of that time me and James Taylor flipped his Chevy Vega trying to get that dog's attention on Airport road

AND WE KNEW WHO WE WERE TH

i did the iggy

2006-10-27T00:46:00.000-04:00

New Yorker caption contest for the week of 11-2-00
what if adrenaline caused you to fall asleep

roller coasters would be pretty boring

You can't believe that you've let your friends talk you into going on a blind date! How embarrassing! How uncomfortable!

Still though, it has been awhile since you've been on a date and it could turn out to be a lot of fun.

It's almost time to pick her up. Better give her a quick call to tell her that you are on your way.

You pick up the phone and dial the number that your friends gave you.

"Hello?", a female voice answers.

Choose:
Hi sexy, are you ready to have me rock your world?
Breath heavily into the phone.<---------------------------------------
Ummmm, hi. Uhhhh... hello?
Hi Sara.

10:51:48 AM peak2600: NICE JERSEY, MAYES. LET'S GO EAT SOME CHEESEBURGERS!!!!!

2006-10-23T14:48:00.000-04:00

In the world of fursuiting, I'm something of a big fish in a little pond. There are probably not more than a hundred people in the world who seriously make fursuits. (And by "seriously" I mean have made more than one, will continue to make more regularly, and have some real skill at doing so.) There are hundreds and hundreds of dabblers, but given then many thousands of furries out there, the number of fursuit makers really is quite small. And I'm creeping steadily up towards the top. I'll never upset Lance Ikegawa's place, he works too differently for me to even try, but someday I might be on par with LatinVixen or Scribblefox. I think I've finally hit near parity with most others out there.

I like that feeling. As awful of me as it is, I like it when I look at people's fursuiting work and I know I could do a million times better.

Thus, I turn to you wonderful folks. Can anybody get the WalMart wolf fur in quantity? I definitely want the gray, and would like a few yards of the brown as well. (The gray is tan base, light gray coat, black tips/guard hairs, the brown is orange-brown base, brown coat, dark chocolate tips/guard hairs. They both look like WOLF and cannot be mistaken for anything else, really.) I can pay for the fur, plus shipping, plus some for your time, gas money in driving to get it, etc. Alternately, I have Montery Mills long pile fox fur (the nice, three inch stuff you can buy from CRs Crafts,) in rust, black, or white that I could trade for it.

I'd like, if possible, 6 yards of the gray wolf and three of the brown.

Is there anybody that can hook me up?

robin hood was an asshole

2006-10-17T22:31:00.000-04:00

You are 20 years old, male, single. Though you have aspirations of being a hipster, you can't seem to get it right at anything more than the most superficial level. You know that you have some problems with how your life is going, but they aren't serious enough for you to actually make any big sacrifices to solve them. As a result, your lifestyle as become gradually less healthy over the last 3 or 4 years, punctuated by brief periods of substance abuse. Still, nothing too terrible, nothing that would shock your friends or family. When you are at home during the day, you often prefer to keep the blinds drawn. One day you hope to clean up your life altogether, but don't know how. Perhaps by taking a "minimalist" approach to everything, getting rid of everything but the barest essentials.

I'm not a teacher but I work for a wachovia call center and I had this lady call me up and ask "why is there only 9 dollars in my savings account" so I opened the account and saw that she had 19 dollars and she took out a counter withdrawl of 10 dollars so I explained that to her and she said "thats not right that should leave me wi

For added fun watch it while listening to Rockapella's Carmen Sandiego theme song

2006-10-03T00:19:00.000-04:00

I can't wait until everybody is doing the Borat voice

wawaweeee it is very nice

You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
Actually, "Emily's Reasons Why Not" did have its funny moments. The problem is twofold. The show tweaks and contorts itself so hard to get those laughs that the whole thing feels forced and unmanageable for two consecutive episodes, much less a season. And secondly, the premise was unlikely to hold up for any length of time.

Rep. Foley (R-FL): I think i hit a rabbit with my car this morning
Teen: carp
Teen: *crap
Rep. Foley (R-FL): No not a carp
Rep. Foley (R-FL): carp is fish
Teen: i meant crap
Rep. Foley (R-FL): And do you have any idea how hard it would be to hit a fish
Teen: i said crap
Rep. Foley (R-FL): fish are fast

When Jamal accuses someone of being a skinhead he finds out he has cancer.

2006-09-26T19:12:00.000-04:00

It is my firm belief that Ghostwriter was actually intended to be the ghost of Menachem Begin, the suave, bespectacled former Prime Minister of Israel.

The titular character of the series was an enigmatic figure. The mystery of Ghostwriter's true identity was never fully answered, although several clues are given during the course of the series in several of the mystery arcs. (The following facts are from "Ghost Story", the Pilot episode, unless otherwise stated.)

-He was a man when he was alive, but is now a ghost.
FACT: DNA evidence suggests that Menachem dead.

-He wanted to protect "the children."
FACT: He gave himself the title: His Excellency President for Life Field Marshal Al Hadji Dr. Jerome Begin, VC, DSO, MC, King of Scotland Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular

-At one point, he remembers he was chased by dogs. ("A Crime of Two Cities")
FACT: Begin was knocked over by a dog at age 4.

-He can only be seen by those he reveals himself to.
FACE:

-He can only read or feel emotions. He cannot see or hear.
FACT: The song "In the Air Tonight" written and performed by Phil Collins was about Menachem, as evidenced by the line:
I was there and I saw what you did
saw it with my own two Zionist eyes
I can feel it coming in the air tonight
A dog knocked me down when I was four

-He can travel through time. ("Just in Time")
FACT: Begin consistently led his life at 88 mph

-He can travel across the Internet. ("Who is Max Mouse?")
Al Gore Highw

NFL GENERIC: AAAAAAAAAAGGGG

2006-09-24T23:42:00.000-04:00

Chris Rock guy (Steve Rock); (n)
The guy is cool in a weird way.
and by weird i mean over 1000 ecstasy pills and tons of other drugs in the past and now he smokes cigarettes like a machine and gets drunk as hell every weekend while blowing almost all of his $250+ paycheck in under 24 hours on poker, booze, cigarettes, and money owed to people over the week since he spends it all right away

he's on the shorter end of 5 feet, has red hair and is balding on the top, and has a beer belly in direct opposition to his small wiry frame. he also talks really fast with a heavy boston accent so its hard to understand what he says unless youve been around him for a while. even after two+ years i have trouble sometimes. oh and a tattoo of tweety bird shooting a potato out of a rocket launcher a mushroom on his arm.

Pitchfork Media Guest Reviews pt. 2: The 1890 Cleveland Infants (Player's League Professional Baseballers)

2006-08-25T18:07:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton
Stars Are Blind (Single)
[Warner Bros. / WEA; 2006]
Rating: Racist

Darby O'Brien: Arose 10 AM. Loafted around the house all morning. In to work at WD 3 PM. Off at 2 hours 30 of the clock. Took surface car home arriving 1:25. Had a feed and retired 2 AM. Kenefick Doesn't need a haircut! Before diving...after diving. They spent most of their time together chasing girls, boxing on the street corner and playing epic games of chess and checkers, sometimes over the phone. But mostly they chased girls. They even had hand signals! Quite the players, they were.

Sy Sutcliffe: I went up the office to get negatives. Then I went up to Dewey Beach with Tom. Big mob there watching the races. Then we went down Revere and had a swim. The water was cold but all right after you got so numb you couldn't feel it. Walking along the Boulevard we got aquainted with Ella McCartney and Mollie Clifford of Roxbury. Rode on flying horses and then home via Narrow alleycar. Came home and retired 10PM.

Pop Snyder: Holy cats! the calliope is on the fritz again. Came up to my steps and listened to an old man discussing "whether the hen or the egg was made first" and whether a fire "burnt up or burnt down a house", etc. Keneific also gave me a letter that he received from Grace Curran in Lyndon addressed to me in a stage name. Have to rise early to get fitted for my new ear trumpet.

Jersey Bakely: WHAT DO I TYPE HERE RICHARD I AM NOT GOOD WITH COMPUERS

Good work, gumshoes

2006-08-18T01:35:00.000-04:00

I was working at Gamestop shooting the breeze with one of the patrons about FFVIII's gameplay mechanics when I overheard this fat, slovenly piece of trash coming in to return an Xbox 360.

Fat disgusting man: Uhhhh I want to return this Nintendo (ed's note: yes, he called his Xbox 360 a NINTENDO)

Other employee: What's wrong with it?

Fat disgusting man: Uhhhhhhhh nothing, but my kid misbehaved and now I'm taking it back to the store as punishment.

Well, this infuriated me. My friend knows I don't get angry very often, but when I do, watch out. I slammed the pre-owned SNES titles I'd been holding down on the shelf and marched over to the fuckvent.

Me: Firstly, it's not a Nintendo. Get it straight if you're going to come into my dojo. Secondly, You realize you're about to deprive your child of immersive gaming experiences unlike anything the world has ever seen, right? Do you have any idea what is contained within that box? DO YOU? Of course you don't, Grandpa Luddite.

Fat disgusting man: Huh....??

He was obviously dazed by my flurry of linguistic blows.

Me: I'll tell you what. You take that thing back home and plug it in for your kid, and I won't look your number up in the computer and call the child up to tell him Master Jake (a play on Master Shake, ATHF) from Gamespot thinks his dad's a mouthbreathing curmudgeon unworthy of parenting.

He grabbed his box and without saying a word walked out the door. Score yet another point for the forces of logic and reasoning.

I like girls who ain't afraid to wear some big baggy jeans and a tshirt and just flop down and be relaxed and smile at you and they look kind of tired but when they look at you some of their cares seem to melt away because they lose themselves in the moment and forget about all the little things in life that weigh them down and they just reach over and squeeze your hand and you share a little moment togther and that squeeze is the most important thing in the world for the few seconds it happens.

Hell is other people. I remember I had to read Sartre in college French class. This is back when I had both legs (amputated below the knee 3 years ago [(log on to www.mrdarsiehouseofpl.co.nz to learn more]). she always wore a different shirt with different variants of "Aliens are lovable because they're so spatial." written on the back. That was so

not agreement

2006-07-17T23:37:00.000-04:00

Who are the ad wi

The world needs another Jordy! Wasn't it a much better time back then? Richard Jeni was relevant AND topical

It is hard hard there to be Oh baby there baby, it is hard hard to be Dur baby hard to be baby I am called Jordy It is hard hard there to be Oh baby there baby, it is hard hard to be Dur baby hard to be baby. I am called Jordy I am four years old and I am small Hard hard to be baby Come here, does not touch that Reste sitted, does not go there Fais like Ci, make like that Patati and patata Why Ci why that Why it is as Ci Why Ci why that Why it is like that. Oh there there baby, it is hard hard to be Dur baby hard to be baby. And Mom, what you say Fais dodo, lava your hands Enlève your fingers of the nose Fais not Ci, do not do that Patati and patata Why Ci why that Why it is as Ci Why Ci why that Why it is like that. Oh there there baby, it is hard hard to be Dur baby hard to be baby. Remainder sitting, not of agreement! Do not touch that, not agreement! Does not go there, not of agreement! Will not have you dessert And Granny, and Papi, and Mom Hard hard to be Oh baby there there baby It is hard to be Dur baby hard to be baby (he's so charming i had to add this point it just really makes me want to neglect my children)

BELGIUM. This is no country for loafers. Join him or die! Can you do no less?

But seriously Jordy owns the Jamba Juice on 5th avenue I saw him behind the counter check it out

him name is hopkin green frog

2006-06-29T01:08:00.000-04:00

How often do you take showers? Once a day? Twice a day? Once every two days? How about 5 to 6 times a month? Lately, it's been just that. The reasons come down to these (in order of their impact with the worst on the top):

1. My parents say water costs 10¢ per gallon about a year ago and 13¢ per gallon now. I've asked them 3 times and they have said this with consistancy. The shower head says that it gives out 2.5 gallons of water per minute, which seems to be about right. My showers often last 30 minutes (± 5 minutes). Given this information, that's $9.75 per shower. Adding in 5 showers a month, that's a manageable $48.75 per month on the water bill for me taking a shower. If I were to take a shower every day, this comes out to well over $200 and my parents cannot afford that well so I'm helping by reducing water consumption by taking showers less frequently. I'm very rarely around anyone or go anywhere, so it doesn't matter that much. I do take showers just before going out somewhere, however.
2. Serious waste of time. 30 minutes for the shower and 15 minutes to find clothes and get dried off is what I need for taking showers. What can I do with an extra 37.5 minutes per day (an average) or 18.75 hours per month? A lot. In 18 3/4 hours, I was able to create an entire set of mountains for my 2D game. In 18 3/4 hours, I could write a very long document, three times longer than the document about my school history (about 320 kilobytes of plain text from HTML formatting). In 18 3/4 hours, I could watch about 19 educational TV shows to further gain knowledge (or an extra 30-minute show every day with a bonus 30-minute show every 4 days). That's a lot of time! It's a serious advantage as it frees up all this time that could be spent on more worthwhile things like education or working on a project.
3. Low compatibility. My compatibility, even factoring out the waste of time part, is still below 400 thus a dislike. Adding in the waste of time factor, it's near 130 and adding in everything, it's near 110. This dangerously low compatibility gives me almost no motive for doing it. 130 is about 15 times worst than neutral and 110 is around 22 times worse than neutral just to give you an idea. There'd have to be a reason 22 times better than neutral to make me more likely to take more frequent showers.

What I do at work

2006-06-21T18:47:00.000-04:00

Fascinating insight into the inner workings of big business

paul at sonic:
you ever had that dream where you're chasing your aunt through a grocery store wielding a snow shovel? and fred flintstone's voice is chanting the alphabet
rbx6jm:
daydream
paul at sonic:
it gets so loud
rbx6jm:
the price you pay for good service
paul at sonic:
oh speaking of which, i should really kill myself
paul at sonic:
if taco bell came out with a burrito called the Wigger Grande would you eat it
rbx6jm:
i'd eat a burrito called the wigger grenade
paul at sonic:
that one doesn't come out til 2009
this one's out now
it's filled with blonde hair
and beans

I'll take ten

2006-06-09T10:44:00.000-04:00

Call this a comeback?

Question: Can life go downhill for someone whose claims to fame are being 1) a former child star on Full House and 2) a crystal-meth addict?

Answer: All signs point to yes.

The newly sober Jodie Sweetin has signed on to host Fuse's Pants-Off Dance-Off, in which contestants will strip to their favorite music videos.

THIS is the sound of the earth imploding. My life keeps getting better and better

sometimes you just gotta spoil yourself
spoil yourself
spoil yourself
spoil yourself
spoil yourself
spoil yourself
spoil yourself

no no i meant first we could play pogs, then we could play magic, then we could trade wnba cards
i'll give you my lunchables for your cheryl swoopes

i have 12 swoopes doubles already

do you have the heroes of title ix hologram set?

yeah but i'm missing the mia hamm fuckface card
one a box

back and to the right

2006-06-07T00:16:00.000-04:00

Behold the secrets of nature - New York Times op ed:

I've got street rep you don't understand. I really GET those guys on the street with their 50 cent brand SUVs. ORV - bullet holes - ORV Why did ORV go to the wayside? It flows off the tongue so much better. OK I'm talking

If you're wondering what that mushroom cloud over Nomar Garciaparra's nose

Alright I'm talking to you - the only people that read the blog - YOU know who you are; searching for checkworks.com like the internet is going to provide you with a different viewpoint of what ribbit rascals REALLY are. some homeless fellow at McDonalds told me I looked like superman

recipe: post picture that's funny to you only and then some nonsense that's only relevant to two people on earth, mix and boil for 3 minutes. serves thr

In this post something falls out of my pocket and breaks

2006-06-02T14:37:00.000-04:00

breakdances

I wrote a Family Guy (FG) script last nite here it is:

Brain
Boy that was an uncomfortable moment.

Peter
Yeah like that time I put a contact mic inside of a fish taco on Pasadena ave. and walked around for 14 minutes. O HAY ABE LINCON

FIN

Mixolydian
Mixolydian
Mixolydian (FIVE)
raised 7th

I'd probably be dead if i kept on taking music theory, not that there's anything wrong with being dead. I'm not trying to discriminate against the dead so don't quote me on that. When I called John Ritter an uncle tom flesh bag that wasn't to be misconstrued. There's a difference between satire and wit I think you'll be pleasantly surprised

But really if Johnson and Johnson can commit to the baby shampoo formula then why doesn't all shampoo promote no more tears? Oh really fool really conditioner is better etc.

Can we get an APB on Busta Rhymes' neck i haven't seen it in years

Pitchfork Media Guest Reviews pt. 1: Brent DiCrescenzo

2006-05-30T14:18:00.000-04:00

Mr. Darsie's Time Machine
Super Za Explosion
[Titor Records; 2006]
Rating: 0.2

In my 22 years here on Earth (I don't count the postnatal years where my cognitive dissonance clouded my judgement ((ie: ability to dress myself (((ie: in thrift store shirts that advertise a YMCA dinner party in Des Moines 4 years before my birth)))) I had never seen a battery on the subway tracks that wasn't a Duracell. 22 years of rotations, passes through steaming tunnels snaking through this godawful city. Mr. Darsie was hunched over his Erector Set. Za pounding. Complete silence. The mustachioed fat man in his underwear sliding, gliding through the space in between tables. One gleaming, gaping maw after another.

Opening the album with "Old Time Rock and Roll" must have been the worst decision since Tomás Estrada Palma offered his dirty pesos to the sky. The dark matter in my soul was swimming into a dimension where a grown man can't grow a tail in front of a silent audience. Waiting. Watching. The emaciated around me held their breath in a communion. One cannot fathom the blast of energy that awaited them that perfect night. The human part of me wept in awe.

This is when the gods bowed down. For further testament, Erik Estrada and I both suffered debilitating bocce ball injuries in the same full moon cycle, while listening to "The Old Tyme Paz Blues", in different parts of Brooklyn. From this day forward, one can never treatise Prospect Park without mentioning the vampirric, stoic motions of that track's namesake. Buying and selling emotion.

Valhalla fell that night, that beautiful, drastic, beautastic night. But here's the reality. Do I want to buy in to the dogma of this dogZA? You have to ask your own inner Christ: How many times can you play the same fucken chugga-chugga riff on an album? If you ask this guy; 10000000000 times.

Embarrassing.
Fuck off.

2 piss-poor riffs out of 10.

Cosby You! Black Entertainer

2006-05-21T23:00:00.000-04:00

In 1989, a man, Kenneth Lamar Noid, who thought the ads were a personal attack on him, held two employees of an Atlanta, Georgia Domino's restaurant hostage for over five hours. After forcing them to make him a pizza, and making demands for $100,000, getaway transportation, and a copy of The Widow's Son, Noid surrendered to the police.

Noid was charged with kidnapping, aggravated assault, extortion and possession of a firearm during a crime. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity. Contrary to popular belief, this incident did not cause Domino's to pull the "Noid" campaign off the air; rather, Will Vinton Studios asked for a larger amount of money for continued use of the Noid character, and Domino's chose not to renew their contract.

Three steps to hold up a ZA joint
1) The Widow's Son is a shitty book no one reads scifi of course you'll be found insane.
2)...
3)Profit

India's answer to Brian Dennehy

2006-05-16T17:23:00.000-04:00

What would happen if famous historical figures used the internet instant messaging services of today? I think it would go... something like this!

black people type like this and white people t

But seriously the avian bird flu (RU 486) is a big deal and we all need to WHAT HAPPENED TO SARS i mean really what's the deal with that. Hey, Remember the SARS?

face skin,
it's face skin i just cracked the case

SARS is like the Ricki Lake of diseases. It was pretty funny in that John Waters movie but then it got old quick and then they find its bloated corpse washed up in the creek just northwest of Rock Honda in Fontana and everyone has to sit through these reruns

1-600-DOCTORB

2006-05-15T00:09:00.000-04:00

ALZHEIMERS

you had me at hello
MALAISE

Where are YOU going to be when that 70s show ends
ALSHE

We practically invented exciting employment opportunities!

2006-05-12T14:53:00.000-04:00

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like a job at Checkworks.com. I have been following Checkworks.com's progress VERY intently over the past TWO MONTHS. I have heard the Checkworks.com radio advertising spots on KLAC Am radio between news and sports and VIC THE BIRCK JACOBS and other ads such as Remax/Mr Darsie. I am intensely FAMILIAR with Checkworks.com and Dr. Laura the official spokes female. In addition I am THROUGHLY AFFILIATED with the Ribbit Rascals.

I am available to RELOCATE to the Baldwin Park facilities of Checkworks.com and would specifically like to work int he division in charge of ribbit rascals. Is this particular department also located in Baldwin Park?? I am currently in New York City, NY, USA but am WILLING to leave my current position.

Please let me know as soon AS possible. I also have a colleague who would be interested in a position at checkworks.com as long as HE is not affiliate dwith the ribbit rascals in any way.

Regards,

Tom Scroggins
NY, NY, US of A

ski ba bop ba dop bop

2006-05-11T14:43:00.000-04:00

The second Scatman John album, Everybody Jam!, was released in 1996. While nowhere as successful on an international level as his debut, the album and accompanying single took off in Japan, the country in which he would see success on a larger scale than anywhere else in the world. He was so popular there that Japanese toy stores sold dolls of his likeness and he appeared on phone cards and Coca Cola cans. The Japanese version of Everybody Jam! included a total of five bonus tracks, including the songs "Su Su Su Super キ・レ・イ" and "Pripri Scat", which were commissioned by Japanese companies for commercials for cosmetics and pudding respectively.

Trail of Tears

2006-05-11T12:45:00.000-04:00

6 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT TWO TWIN GIRLS, SUSIE AND JESSICA MARTIN WHO GO TO A DUDE RANCH WHERE THEIR MOTHER STAYED AS A KID WITH NATTY WHO IS VERY SWEET! THEY FIND THEIR MOTHERS SECRETS HALF OF AN OWL AND BEAR AND READ HER DIARY. NATTY`S SON BART WANTS TO MAKE THE RANCH INTO A THEME PARK CALLED GIFOOLEY LAND. WHEN THEY GO LOOKING FOR GOLD THEY FIND THE OTHER HALF OF THE BEAR AND THE OWL.THEY SAVED THE RANCH FROM BART GIFOOLY AND THEY FOUND THE HORSE LIGHTNING THEIR MOMS HORSE. HAEV YUO ACTUALLY TRIED WTACHING IT BECUASE ITS IMPOSSABAL TO SIT THROUGH UNLESS YUOVE GOT TERRIBAL BRAIN DAMAGE. SOUNDTRACK FEATUREING "THIS IS LOVE" BY WHITESNAKE

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful:
The CIA obtained a court injunction against this movie's release stating the screenwriter, a former CIA employee, violated his contract which states that he cannot write about the CIA without the agency's approval. First amendment activists opposed this ruling, "raising the question of whether a citizen can sign away his First Amendment rights." After prolonged litigation, the CIA succeeded in having 168 pages of the script deleted. The Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran put a price on the head of the producer for casting the two leads which are allegedly critical of the Islam religion.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
BRILLIANT! This movie is awesome, I LOVE IT! Mary-Kate and Ashley are acting with real talent and the movie is SO exciting! It's really cool! It's absolutely one of my favorite movies by MKA, but I love every movie they've starred in except for "Secretary", so I guess that makes no sence;) But it IS really good! Mary-Kate and Ashley also star in one of the songs in the movie when they're having a camp fire! :) Really, REALLY good!
If you're a fan of Mary-Kate and Ashley you CAN'T miss it!

Scandal and Spectacle: The Campbellton Organization and the Zionist Slant of the Liberal "New Media"

2006-05-09T16:40:00.000-04:00

As recently as March 2005, there has been a viral list originating from a not for profit organization based in Lancaster, Pennsylvania that references no less than 30 political "idealists" (as I would call them) and their views on the infamous Campbellton project. This literature has been very prominent as of late in many underground, low run publications such as the Arby's Weekly Reader or the playbook from TITOR! The Musical.

Some common myths about the Campbellton Organization:

MYTH: Manute Bol's Professional Bowling for the TurboGrafx 16 was extensively anti-semetic.
TRUTH: Primitive digital compression technology/poor sales.

MYTH: PepsiCo halted the manufacturing of Crystal Pepsi in 1993.
TRUTH: MYTH

MYTH: Capri pants are a good idea
TRUTH: You don't look fat honey, I swear.

MYTH: Causing cancer means never having to say you're sorry
TRUTH: it's spelled murda and it's not a picture it's a children's rap cassette about pogs

the one with murdock basting a turkey with a handgun

2006-05-08T13:58:00.000-04:00

Mad Libs/Blogs/Mad Money/Pork Futures/Back to the Pork 2/Hoverboards:

Three reasons for the return of __(noun)__

a) __(adjective)__ish seats on the N line should up the ante for __(political figure)__ Giuliani.

2) Small Wonder reruns

b)__(noun)__ and __(gender)__'s __(blanks)__ are __(adnoun)__. I feel that __(popular rapper)__ needs more flavor and th

I think I'm shrinking.

2006-05-04T01:18:00.000-04:00

Performance art.

I need venture capital. I need a sponsor. Lays. REmax. Checkworks.com. I'm going to walk around Alphabet City with an enormous digital clock strapped to me. Real sandwich board.

17 minutes ahead.

Hey, Remember the 80s?

2006-05-03T11:50:00.000-04:00

Development and commercial production of electric lighting!
Development and commercial production of gasoline-powered automobile by Karl Benz, Gottlieb Daimler and Maybach!
First commercial production and sales of phonographs and phonograph recordings!
First steel tird construction "sky-scrapers"!
Construction begins on the Panama Canal by the French. This is the first attempt to build the Canal!

Heinrich Hertz discovers the photoelectric effect!
Michelson-Morley experiment, showing that the speed of light is invariant!
James-Lange theory of emotion!

First Boer War!
The New Imperialism!

Mark Twain publishes The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!
Feodor Dostoevsky publishes The Brothers Karamazov!
Robert Louis Stevenson publishes Treasure Island!
Paul Fusco operated the Alf puppet, supplied Alf's voice and co-produced the series with Tom Patchett!
First edition of Oxford English Dictionary published!
Arthur Conan Doyle publishes his first Sherlock Holmes tale!

COINS first then the bills

2006-05-02T16:56:00.000-04:00

The McDonald's massacre, sometimes called the McMurder, was an incident of mass murder at a McDonald's restaurant in the San Ysidro section of San Diego, California, on July 18, 1984.
The massacre was carried out by James Oliver Huberty, a 41-year-old former welder from Canton, Ohio. In January 1984, Huberty had moved to San Ysidro with his wife and children, where he worked as a security guard until his dismissal one week prior to the murders. His apartment was located near the site of the shooting spree.
Before he left for McDonald's, his wife Etna asked him where he was going; Huberty responded "going to hunt humans." Earlier that same day he and his family visited another McDonald's restaurant for lunch, before going to the zoo. While walking around with his wife and two daughters he made the comment to his wife, "society had its chance."

you're thinking of mr. darsie's restaurant, where people smoke joints instead of eat

2006-05-02T13:30:00.000-04:00

Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii (cute)). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)

WHERE IS TH

2006-04-27T18:57:00.000-04:00

It's a Master P lyric

2006-04-26T12:09:00.000-04:00

Onion rings as far
as the eye can see. We are
truly now in Maine

Blogosphere

2006-04-24T18:16:00.000-04:00

BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE BLOGOSPHERE